Twidiocy

Posted on October 11th, 2009

As promised in Episode 8, it is on this page that I will archive, for all posterity, my idiotic tweets. The tweets that I put sooooo much effort into and I think are going to be sooooo funny, but then I end up destroying by leaving out words or spelling things wrong or just generally being an idiot. The tweets I would much rather forget, but must post here in order to ensure that I never take @Kathy_L too seriously.

Because, clearly I’m just an idiot.

Look at the time. My inner Fred Flinstone just howled “Yabba dabba doooo!” and slid down a dinosaur’s tail.

If I were to write a Better Homes and Gardens caption for this room the words “colder,” “than,” and “witches’ tata” would come into play.

If Sotomayor would just sing a rousing rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Mis, I think everyone get on board.

Wait…you mean Angels & Demons isn’t a new reality show in which Victoria’s Secret models have to decide between Krispy Kremes or heroine?

Please allow me to be the 14,967th person to say, “Thank Jeebus Creed is getting back together. Oh and pussy boils are awesome too.” (idiot’s note: I swear I meant puss-y. Not the other word.)

Exercising would better if it were more like exorcising. Empty calories, the power of cardio compels you!

Are we under some kind if attack? I heard that a Transformer was blown up in West Des Moines.

It occurs to me that he just wouldn’t have been the same if be had been Johnny Credit Card or Johnny Traveller’s Check or Johnny Payday Loan

So glad that what I wanted to do before this 2 day shoot is vacuum water out if my basement and not sleep.

Apparently, the “K” in 401K stands fir kaput.

Wow. I’m pretty sure just belched loud enough to knock satellites out of orbit.