Breaking the News - Week 4, Year 2010
Posted on January 29th, 2010
How about we call this week’s Late Breaking News? That makes it sound more exciting, wouldn’t you say?
This one’s a bit gassy, Apple released a new toy and Gary Coleman got short with some police officers in Utah. So, business as usual.
Breaking the News - Week 4, Year 2010 is also available on Vimeo.
Until they make stronger headlines, I’m just going to keep breaking them.
Why?
Because I’m an idiot.
For the actual stories:
How will Japan get a Gap Card?
We’re gonna need a bigger charcoal filter
Next, Apple releases the reinvented iWheel
He can’t be blamed for his short
Transcript:
Happy Friday! Here are some headlines from this week…sort of.
The President delivered his State of the Union a dress on Wednesday. Reactions from all sides were mixed and pundits say it was a kicky little tea-length number with a few ruffles and some embroidery around the waste…wait…what?
Let me try that again. The President delivered his State of the Union Address on Wednesday. And then provided turn-by-turn directions.
In market news, early in the week, Standard & Poor’s warned that it was considering lowering Japan’s credit rating. Experts say the country needs to take care of those disputed charges from Old Navy or else it will never qualify for that miles card it really wants.
In a study released last week, scientists conclude that the amounts of methane gas in the atmosphere are once again on the rise. I’ll give you a moment to allow your inner 12-year-old to finish this one.
In a related story, Toyota is recalling more vehicles with faulty gas pedals.
And in another clearly related story, Jessica Simpson broke wind in a meeting this week.
How’s your inner 12-year-old doing now? Still need a sec.? Ok.
In other science news, researchers have discovered a tiny organism that has been able to reproduce asexually for 30 million years. In a report published this week, scientists confirm that it has been able to go without sex for so long with the help of very small porn.
Apple released its much-rumored next big ticket tech toy on Wednesday. In a media extravaganza Steve Jobs showed off the device and said quote, “With this iPad my wallet with your technophile dollars. Please pay at the door,” end quote.
Author J.D. Salinger, who wrote Catcher in the Rye, one of America’s greatest novels, has passed away. Apparently this happened late this week and not 27 years ago like everyone thought.
And finally, in entertainment news, actor Gary Coleman was arrested in Utah again this weekend on a charge of domestic violence. An inside source says that once police arrived on the scene, a single officer was able to stop the assault by extending his arm and placing his hand on Coleman’s forehead.
That’s it! I’m Kathy. If the news is broken…I dropped it.
1 Comment »
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Kathy,
One of your best. Nice job!
Trout
Comment by Brett Trout — January 29, 2010 @ 3:58 pm