Breaking the News - Week 3, Year 2010
Posted on January 22nd, 2010
There was so much going on in the news this week I didn’t even have to mention Tiger Woods, 3G coverage OR Sarah Palin. Except I just did. Sonuva!
Oh, hey, there’s a special bonus for those of you who watch ’til the end.
Breaking the News - Week 3, Year 2010 is also available on Vimeo.
You know it’s not news until I’ve broken it.
Why?
Because I’m an idiot.
For the actual stories
Transcript
Happy Friday! Here are some headlines from this week…mmm…sort of.
With a narrow majority, the Supreme Court made a controversial ruling on Thursday, easing restrictions on corporate campaign spending. In their conservative majority opinion, the nation’s highest Court said quote, “We believe the United States should have free speech, it just shouldn’t have FREE speech” end quote.
In election news, Republican newcomer Scott Brown, won a special election in Massachusetts to fill Ted Kennedy’s seat in the Senate. Experts say Brown was able to turn the blue state red with a savvy campaign in which the one-time centerfold model turned state senator teamed up with UPS, appealing to voters by asking “What can Brown do for you?” wearing the famous brown shorts and promising to deliver his package to Capitol Hill.
In other news from The Hill, California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was at the Capitol this week campaigning to get federal funds to help his state with its budget crisis. In a hold-no-punches speech to the House, the Govenator promised that if funds were not allocated, he would be back.
A report released by the Inspector General on Wednesday detailed how the FBI illegally obtained thousands of phone records during the Bush administration. An FBI spokesperson defended the bureau’s actions in a press conference, saying quote, “Look, I still don’t know what the big deal is. It turns out that everyone was just calling in to vote for Clay Aiken on American Idol anyway” end quote.
An aftershock from last week’s earthquake, measuring 6.1 on the Richter scale shook the already devastated nation of Haiti early this week. According to budding seismologist Pat Robertson, this smaller scale event was caused by a more recent “gentlemen’s agreement” between Haiti and the Devil.
In other “acts of God” news, Los Angeles and other areas of Southern California were plagued by storms this week. Weather experts from the Pat Robertson Disaster Rationalization Center say these storms, which have caused major flooding and mudslides, are the result of a quote “pact with the Weinsteins” made by the region.
And finally, in entertainment news, the 67th Annual Golden Globes awards show aired on NBC on Sunday. Hollywood insiders report that Conan O’Brien was contracted as a seat filler for the event and could be seen keeping vacant spots warm until the invited celebrities returned to fill them.
That’s it! I’m Kathy. If the news is broken…I dropped it.
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