Breaking the News - Week 2, Year 2010
Posted on January 15th, 2010
Before things get silly, here are a few links to check out and see if there is something you may be able to do to help earthquake victims in Haiti…
Yéle Haiti
Charity Water
Meals from the Heartland
Doctors Without Borders
Oxfam America
And now for the idiocy.
You wouldn’t think it would be so hard to learn and recite 2 minutes worth of material, but the fact that you are thinking at all pretty much separates you from this herd. I’m an idiot and my bloopers are proof.
Here is just a short glimpse into what I go through every week just to spit out 7 or 8 rather lame jokes. You’ll notice that the final product is still in one take. One take it took me forever to tank.
Breaking the News - Week 2, Year 2010 is also available on Vimeo.
I’m not so good at it, but I’ll keep doing it. Because I need the practice? No. Because I’m an idiot!
And, just for fun, here’s photographic evidence.
For the actual stories
Let’s switch Daylight Savings Time again while we’re at it
I was mean to Mark McGwire, but
Transcript(ish)
Happy Friday! Here are some headlines from this week…sort of.
A federal judge ruled on Thursday that the FDA had overstepped its bounds in an attempt to regulate the use of electronic cigarettes. In his ruling, the U.S. District Court judge made it clear that sucking on cylindrical, battery operated devices seemed pretty harmless. But maybe he needed to see it demonstrated again. Preferably by that bailiff over there.
Fox News announced this week that it has signed on former Alaska governor, Sarah Palin, as a commentator for the network. Sources close to Palin say her initial concerns with the deal were laid to rest when she was assured that it is “not the one with Katie Couric.”
A devastating earthquake measuring 7.0 on the Richter scale hit the small, impoverished nation of Haiti, on Tuesday. Outspoken zealot and emerging earthquake expert, Pat Robertson, announced that this disaster was caused by Haiti making a, quote “pact with the devil.” Robertson predicts the same for Fox News any day now.
NBC finally announced its decision to move The Jay Leno Show to 11:35pm Eastern, pushing Conan O’Brien and The Tonight Show from the coveted time slot. Hollywood insiders are convinced that the network is only having Jay move to see if he can get better 3G coverage there.
In other entertainment news, Simon Cowell announced that this will be his final season as a judge on the popular show, American Idol. Sources close to the brutally honest talent competition judge say he’s going to take some time off to see if he can think of something nice to say.
And finally, in sports news, Mark McGwire admitted this week that he did indeed use performance enhancing drugs during his years in baseball. In a press conference on Monday, the Major Leaguer read from a statement, quote “I am ashamed to admit that my performance can only be enhanced and getting to home base is much easier if my wife is liquored up” end quote. Further proving that most modern, record-breaking ball players need drugs to score.
Omygod I made it! That’s it. I’m Kathy. If the news breaks are broken, it’s ‘cause I’m an idiot. I did it!
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I used to be a TV news reporter for 6 years…so your bloopers ring close to my heart! Very funny blog…(BTW…I am friends with your friend Anna in Denver.) Love your twist on current events!
Comment by Leaza — January 28, 2010 @ 1:33 am