Breaking the News - Week 49, Year 2009
Posted on December 11th, 2009
Newsflash this week: In golf, even the scandals are boring. Whooda thunkit?
And I still need a haircut.
But there’s a boob joke in there for ya’. Enjoy!
Breaking the News - Week 49, Year 2009 is also available on Vimeo.
If you thought that was funny, you should come over and shovel my driveway. It’s not any funnier than this, I’m just tired of doing it.
For the actual stories:
How about a “More Important Things” bill?
I wonder why I Winter in this land
Transcript:
Happy Friday! Here are some headlines from this week. Eh…sort of.
On Wednesday, the President voiced his support for Senate compromises on the public option in the proposed health care overhaul. When asked in a press conference if this would mean that some Americans would still go without coverage, the President said quote, “Well, let me be clear…what’s that? I think I hear my mom calling me. Gotta go” end quote.
Also this Wednesday from the Hill, a House subcommittee approved legislation to change the currently disproportionate way the Bowl Championship Series selects a national victor. Experts say that it appears that not a single member of this committee realizes that the Electoral College is not a part of the BCS.
On Monday, a report published in the Washington Post revealed at least 91 breaches of security allowed by the Secret Service over a 20 year period. An inside source says a proposal has been made to change the name of the agency to Victoria’s Secret Service since clearly its actions are dictated by boobs.
Just Born, the company that produces marshmallow Peeps, opened Peeps & Company in Washington D.C., its first ever retail storefront. The store’s manager reports already having to ask Paul Reubens and several congressmen to leave on more than one occasion, telling them it’s not that kind of store.
A new study out of Germany details differing results from a report released by NASA in May indicating the existence of a previously unknown planet some 20 light years away. A spokesperson from Verizon said in a statement that either way, it’s obvious that AT&T does not have 3G coverage there.
In sports news this week, tales of Tiger Woods’ many indiscretions bored the crap out of me so I couldn’t think of a joke. To be honest, I would only consider an affair with the golf champ if his name were Liger, because it’s only like my favorite animal.
And finally, a major Winter storm made its way across the mid-section of the country this week. ‘s no joke.
That’s it. I’m Kathy. If the news is broken…I dropped it.
1 Comment »
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I love it!
Shane
Comment by calgarydaddy — December 15, 2009 @ 2:09 pm