Breaking the News - Week 45, Year 2009
Posted on November 13th, 2009
Ponzis and blackouts and Dobbs, oh my! The news is scary. Let me break it for you.
Breaking the News – Week 45, Year 2009 from Kathy Landin on Vimeo.
For the actual stories:
And the Wall came tumbling down
Transcript:
Happy Friday! Here are some headlines from this week. Sort of.
This week marked the 20th anniversary of the taking down of the Berlin Wall. Decades later, Mr. Berlin loves how removing the wall opened up the space to allow more light in and Mrs. Berlin is still angry that she has nowhere to hang photos of the grandchildren.
Early in the week, reports surfaced that Chrysler has disbanded its electric vehicle engineering team. Experts say that the change was brought on by new owner, Fiat. But inside sources claim that the real reason was the company’s disappointment in the team’s first prototype, the Electric Boogaloo.
In market news, despite a decrease in unemployment claims, the dollar continues to remain at a record low. With deer populations reaching record highs and moving further into suburban neighborhoods causing traffic accidents and costly property damage, many Americans have turned to using actual bucks to make purchases at local businesses and retailers.
Court documents were filed this week detailing an alleged, elaborate Ponzi scheme being investigated by the FBI in Florida. A spokesperson for the bureau said in a press conference, “One of these days we will finally get to the bottom of this whole Disney World thing.”
A major hydroelectric plant in Brazil lost power on Tuesday, affecting more than half of the South American country. This Brazilian blackout resulted in ALL of the electricity being off in 18 of Brazil’s 26 states. None of it was left on. It was all gone.
In Salt Lake City this week, the Mormon Church announced its support of gay rights legislation. In an official endorsement from its elders, the Church said, “We don’t care who you marry, as long as you marry a lot of them.”
In music news, Taylor Swift reportedly cleaned up at the Country Music Awards on Wednesday night. Sources close to the singer say it seemed awkward that they would make the Entertainer of the Year pick up trash and empty wine glasses, but she was ok with it as long as Kanye West would allow her to finish.
And finally, on Wednesday, veteran news anchor Lou Dobbs announced he was leaving CNN. Following standard procedure, the network immediately canceled all of Mr. Dobbs’ security access to their facilities. An unfortunate scene ensued when Mr. Dobbs returned to CNN about 45 minutes later claiming he only meant he was going out to get more tapioca and melba toast.
That’s it. I’m Kathy. If the news is broken…I dropped it.
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