Episode 12 “The Pemblesode”
Posted on August 31st, 2009
Recently, for the sake of the Idiot Show, I allowed John Pemble (who volunteered vociferously for the job) into my bedroom with a video camera. You may or may not realize the magnitude of this decision.
Soon you will.
Here’s a little glimpse into what you didn’t see and why maybe I hadn’t made the wisest of choices.
(Fair warning: John and I have potty mouths. The Idiot Show censors did make the final edit, but it still may be slightly NSFW. So be careful. I’m just an idiot…I can’t help you if you get fired.)
Perhaps I should have known better, but I thought I was lucky to have been offered the services of John Pemble free of charge.
Because I’m an idiot!
Episode 11 “Bound to the Bottle”
Posted on August 11th, 2009
I have a confession to make. I cannot buy items in large quantities at the store. You know, those big bargain bottles of products that cost a few cents less per unit than their regular-sized counterparts. I just can’t do it.
A purchase of this magnitude represents a major commitment on my part. A commitment I very much fear making.
I mean, what if I decide halfway through that I don’t want to use the product any more? What if I find out there is something I like better? What if I realize I should never have purchased the product in the first place and I am now stuck with mass quantities of it?
I just can’t commit. The pressure is too great. Even if it is something I’ve been buying for years, there is the slight possibility that I might change my mind and I won’t be able to finish what I started. The potential waste is too devastating.
However, in spite of my fear and trepidation, the other day I decided to go for the big commitment and buy the mega-bottle of shampoo. I’ve been using this shampoo for I don’t know how long, so it seemed like it was finally time to settle in for the long haul. Time to make that promise to use the same shampoo for as long as there is some in the bottle.
This seemed safe. And I was proud of myself for being smart and getting over my idiotic fear of bargain-sized bottles and pinching a few pennies in the process.
Big commitment. Big day.
I bought the wrong kind.
You see, when they make all the bottles look the same, one has to read the fine print to know what one is actually buying. One must be smarter than the product packaging. One must spend less time stressing over the commitment to purchase one bazillion ounces of shampoo and spend a little more time focused on the task at hand.
I now have one bazillion ounces of shampoo PLUS conditioner. A minor difference to be sure, but shampoo plus conditioner makes my hair mui ickarondo and I am definitely disappointed in my purchase of a huge bottle of it. I do not like it and I do not want it.
But I am determined to use it. Even if that means that I have purchase a bottle of my usual shampoo and periodically pour some of it into the wrong stuff to cut the effects of the added conditioner, I will not discard it.
After all…I made a commitment to this stuff and I must see it through.
Because I’m an idiot!