Episode 10 “Fashionably Latte”

Posted on July 14th, 2009

I’ve been having this curious little problem of latte. It seems that a side effect of being an idiot is seeing the word “latte” instead of “late” wherever it is written or printed. At first this happened to me just a few times with the occasional “too little, too latte,” but now it’s pretty much all the time. Constantly. Everywhere.

Latte.

I can’t stop it. It plagues me. I have to read everything multiple times because none of it makes sense. I mean, why is everyone talking about lattes all the time? What’s the obsession with espresso and foamed milk? Is this some sort of Starbucks plot to take over the world?!

But it’s not. And nobody’s talking about lattes. It’s me. I’m an idiot. Normal, sane, literate, non-idiots read “late,” I read “latte.”

Of course, this once latent latte likening is not only annoying, it has left my itsy bitsy brain filled with quirky coffee house names that I will never need. So, in order to clear some space in my cranium for more useful things like where I left my keys or how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, here are some select phrases from the alternate latte reality:

See?! It’s everywhere. And here’s the beauty of all of this….not only am I an idiot, I’m an evil idiot.

Because this will now start happening to you. You can’t control it. You can’t fight it. So good luck, because I can’t help you. I have found no cure.

It won’t go away.

Why? Because I’m an idiot!

(For the record, when I Google the word “late,” Google even says “also see ‘latte.’” Which makes me feel ever so slightly better. Or confirms that the Googlites are idiots too.)

Episode 9 “An Idiot and Her Robot”

Posted on July 6th, 2009

Because I’m a simpleton, I have a tendency to personify inanimate objects. Plants, stuffed toys, my laptop, my iPhone. So you can understand that when something is partially animate AND does chores for me, well…the results are inevitable.

Meet Roomba…

Episode 9 “An Idiot and Her Robot” from Kathy Landin on Vimeo.

All I can say is that it’s a good thing that all it does is vacuum.

Why?

Because I’m an idiot.

Thank you to @johnpemble, Nick DiDonato, @mandiswanson, and the geniuses at iRobot. Also thanks to Paul Simon for folk rocking our pants off. And muchases of graciases to @liabolicious who is pretty much the queen of my world.